Who Would Win The Ultimate Martial Arts Fight: Steven Segal Lawman Against Michael Jackson!

[I:http://motorcaravanworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/AlCase7.gif]I would pay to see The Gloved One fight. His moves are so smooth and delicious, his sense of timing is exquisite. Heck, Steven Seagal Lawman is gonna have to reach deep to even think about beating down the zipper man!

First Stevie is ranked large, as in tents for pants and the ugliest jackets known to a homeless person. This weight will give him an advantage, should he ever put the fist to poor Michael's operation ravaged face. But can he connect when his opponent has the quickest dukes known to man?

And Stevie may have studied Aikido for half his life, but let's hope he remembers some of his karate tricks. Michael, you see, has those slick, velvet coated hands. Those hands slither and slide, jib and jive, and can fool even the smartest artist.

Now, Michael may have gotten the first few jabs in, but Steven does have a few tricks up his voluminous sleeves. He's got…Louisiana Firepower! He's got access to shotguns, handguns, and redneck nightclubs!

Uh, the bashing kind of nightclubs, not the moonwalk kind of nightclubs. Though, to think about it, Stevie does strum a mean guitar, and maybe he could swing that guitar like an ax! Surely a big old electric music maker bashed up against the side of Michael's skull would cause some kind of trauma!

Anyway, I know there are going to be a few people that aren't going to go along with my carefully laid out analysis, but I want you to think about the Beat It video. In that video Michael leaps into the middle of a roaring gang fight and disarms two seasoned gangsters armed with wicked looking slicers! Tell me if that isn't some kind of tough!

And, if that isn't tougher than your aunt's used undies, you can see other movies where Michael outruns machine gun bullets, bashes the hopes of hoardes of baddies, and all while singing a tune! Sure, Steven can wail a bit, but…I've never seen him sing in the middle of one of his movie gang fights! Heck, all Stevie can do, in the middle of the brawl, is grunt, look hard about the edges, and give a snappy one liner when everybody is laying around all broken!

Okay, I think I've made my case, and only the largest fool isn't going to go along with me that The King of Pop would beat bejesus out of the King of Aikido. Unless the Aikido Top Kick can draw and shoot his trusty pistolo faster than than a politician's mouth! Now if only Michael would moonwalk out of the grave so we could really see this ultimate martial arts fight!

This has been fun, but if you want some serious martial arts, then click on Monster Martial Arts and pick up a free book on Matrix Martial Arts.